Omigawd! App drama ftw!11!!!

Edit for those that haven’t read comments recently… there are big updates below in the comments. Don’t pass them up, I still can’t believe it. OMFG!!! 

I apologise for the horrible post title.

But it seems so very, very appropriate.

I posted my little recap of last night’s gaming, and then went on out into the World… of Warcraft to catch up on news.

Why look! At WoW Insider, my favorite column is up… Guildwatch. Let’s just see what’s up…

Hmm, okay not much happening there…

Oh lookie, there is a mention of a badly done Guild Application by a young mage. Doesn’t sound like much potential for humor, as a former Officer I’ve seen some doozies in my time. Poor grammer is only funny up to a point.

As an aside, haven’t seen that kind of idiocy in Sidhe Devils thankfully, nothing but gold in the apps we’ve gotten. Don’t ask me why, I think no one besides you guys has noticed we started a guild. And the asshats obviously see the ‘we aren’t a progression guild, we won’t gear you for no effort here, we just try and have fun and put Real Life first, no srsly we mean it’ Guild Charter and move on…..

But what the hey. Let’s go check out the application… how bad can it be?

Oh. Oh my.

I’m going to post it here in an effort to preserve it in case of future deletion of that thread.

Vulc 70 mage

1. Tell about yourself. Who are you? Where are you from? How old are you? You are working or attending school? im steven also known as vulc, ima outgoing like to have fun and play wow. very interesd in joining i love to raid and want to get into it alot more. and from what ive seen… ur an amazing guild

2. Tell us about your computer and internet connection. my computer is decdent, have to restart it now in then working on investing a new case and cooling station… my pc overheat’s, connection is very good

3. Tell us about your character. Guild, days played, spec., etc. Specifically…what guild did you come from, why are you leaving, why did they fail, how far did you progress? well i just joined celtic rage, herd about it from a friend, they stunk it up in tk 1st night i was in there. ive got over 110 day’s played and my gear is decent mostly made gear. 1093+ fire dmg

4. When are you available? Can you play during the day? Every night? mostly every night, from 5-11

5. What gear do you currently have/use? What resist gear do you have? Armory LINK is madatory. http://www.wowarmory.com/character-shee … orn&n=Vulc

6. Why do you want to join Paranoid? How did you hear about us? im pretty good friends with lof :P and i wana get geard before i go into litch king. i like to be around people that are good and serous at end game i was back in the day.. not the best but 8/8 t1 3/8 t2

7. How much gold do you have? How about consumables? not much trying to pay for a new trinket ( alchamist stone).

8. Do you understand what DKP is and how it works? Yes depending on the guild

9. Are you willing to abide by our rules, at all times, if we accept you? Yes i will

10. What do you consider YOUR role to be in the endgame? To dps as hard as i can and help the guild kill bosses. and progress as much as i can

Okay. Okay, that’s pretty funny. Why? What do you mean, why do I think that’s funny?

Well, okay, let me break it down just a bit. No big analysis, I mean this guy would never in a million years be considered for Sidhe Devils, call me an elitist prick all you want, that’s just the way it is. But I’ll go over what I think are the high points.

It is clear to me from his spelling and phrasing that he gave no thought whatsoever towards making a good impression with the people he is asking to join. The key phrase there is no thought. Do I want a thoughtless person, someone that does not even for a second remotely consider the point of view of other players, their opinions or thoughts or concerns, in my guild? Hell no. This guy is what you get if you are desperate for more bodies to fill a 25 man raid… and even then, I think 25 mans deserve much better than this. Let me change that to a 40 man. If you were desperate to fill an old-school 40 man, this was your guy. You know he’s only there for the loot, but while he’s there at least you’re getting some DPS in the raid.

Now, I could mention his line about “wanting to get geared before WotLK comes out” for why he wants to join, but hey, I’ll give him points for being honest about wanting to join a progression guild for phat lootz. That’s what he wants, that’s why he’s applying. Give him the phat lootz, and no one gets hurt.

I also have to give him points for saying, even inadvertantly, that his computer is decadent. I know it was a typo on his part, and he meant decent… but I now want a decadent computer. Somehow, I don’t think you get those at Dell.

He loses a lot of points for answering the question about gold and consumables, a question I see as being on the app form as a way to find out of a raider is willing to provide his own raid mats and consumables, by answering ‘not much’ and talking about the crafted alchemy trinket he is trying to save up mats for.

Let’s be serious… The guy claims to have a 70 mage and plays 6 hours a night, EVERY night. He says he’s broke.

I know a lot of people, through their choice of Professions, have a hard time making gold in the game. Our friends at WoWJones even have a blog because of the interest. But the guy is an Alchemist. Gee, do I know any other Alchemists at level 70? Lemme think about that one for a second….

Cassieann plays her main and several alts, on an intermittant schedule, and thanks to her effort and her Alchemy Profession she has bought her own Epic Flying Skill, Windstar’s Epic Flying Skill, she made within days of getting the rep both her Alchemist Stone and the Assassin’s Alchemist Stone, and even then provides ME with raid mats half the time and has, in her words, already saved up enough gold to by my fricken Priest HER Epic Flying Skill. Broke my ass. Hey, punk, if you are playing 6 hours a night five nights a week, go do some dailies and actually make some pots to put on the AH. Maybe farm primals and make some Primal Mights on your Transmute. In three days you can have your trinket. Lazy bum.

Still, we’re nit picking here. From what I’ve pointed out alone, the app is not too bad. But the cream, the uber goodness that shines out, is this little snippet…

well i just joined celtic rage, herd about it from a friend, they stunk it up in tk 1st night i was in there.

Wait, wait, wait a minute!

So, you are applying to join a progression guild, and you are telling me you JUST joined another guild that actually took your ass into Tempest Keep, and you are taking the time in your application to bad mouth THEM instead of telling me specifically about YOU.

Epic Fail.

Now, yeah, it’s a train wreck of an application. If this is your application… well, I’m sorry, but you’re only 16. You WILL get older. Hopefully, you will also grow in maturity. I guarantee, this can either be a learning experience for you, or another way to feel like a victim. At this point in the reading, I am thinking, “He sounds like a typical self-entitled asshat. But the poor kid is right at that age, he might be a good kid at heart and has absolutely no idea how this comes across. I’m glad I’m not that age anymore. Damn I was stupid at that age. Wow, am I still that stupid? Naaahh… Cassie woulda killed me by now.”

Oh…. but wait. It gets better. I read further down the application, to read some replies… and come to a reply made by Hickyfat, apparently the guild leader of Celtic Rage, who surprisingly enough had a little something to say about how Vulc characterized the Tempest Keep run…

Whats up guys,
Vulc recently joined Celtic Rage and has recently been removed. He did attend TK with us on our first night there and yes, we definitely did not do as well as we could have done. However, in the few raids he did make it to his DPS was less than impressive (Mages with less “stats” and gear were able to out dps him somehow). After seeing his performance, I offered up some suggestions. 1) Regem your green gems and get rid of that, dare i say, +8 resilience gem. His response – I don’t want to spend money for better gems when I am going to upgrade my gear soon (not what I was looking to hear). 2) Switch specs and try one deep in fire (10/48/3) was the one I suggested. His response – I’ve played a mage for two years and I’m not gonna take advice from a warrior. While it’s true I don’t play a mage or even another class other than a warrior tank, I do read about other classes and what is most “raid viable.” I don’t need to play a mage to know that a resilience gem has no business in any gem slot. As a raid leader I want to make sure that all 25 people are pumping out as much tps, dps, and hps as possible and if they are not doing so, try to help. Vulc was not open to change to help the raid and acted like a pompous tithead. Hence – hickyfat had to drop the hickyboot. Peace fellas – Good luck w/ Felmyst. Any questions hit me up in game.

BOOM! Solid Win. That, right there, tells me as an officer everything I really wanted to know. Do I have to explain how many ways Hickyfat just laid to rest any thought I might have had about taking this mage into my guild? Even if it wasn’t about progression, the close-mindedness alone… no, I didn’t think so.

But wait! Let’s not be too hasty! This might just be some self-serving character assassination by Hickyfat, right? Just because the guy says something, doesn’t make it so. Screenshot or it didn’t happen, right guys?

Well… let’s take a look and see how Vulc responded to Hickyfats’ allegations of prior conduct.

Warning: The following is NOT safe for gentle eyes that dislike profanity. I found it hilarious, however.

Vulc said;

yo kno hicky im not the a pompas fucking prick who picks ona mage whos is doing #2 dps in ur raid and is 16 go get a mothetfucking life u prick and also if ur guna fuck around with my game play ur guna have a fucking suprize waiting around the corner u prick

mmmMMMMmmm…. now that is just great, isn’t it? All worry I had that I was being a little harsh in my analysis of his application are simply blown clean away.

Oh, and I have to say… I love the implication there at the end that Hickyfat is gonna find a surprise waiting for him ‘just around the corner’ so to speak. Wait, is Vulc going to lie in wait and ambush poor Hickyfat? Oh noooeeesssss!!!!!11!

There are 7 more pages of this, and I don’t even know if I want to read any further. The drama is so perfect right now, and reading further may spoil it.

But just…. wow. WOW.

God, I love Guildwatch.

Edit:

Okay, I read further… it doesn’t dissappoint. I will add one new quote, from another memeber of Celtic Rage, who sound like good guys, actually. This noe really does say it all…

Oh… Couldn’t resist the opportunity to throw my 2 cp’s here… Yes, Vulc’s unwillingness to take constructive criticism after 3 days in the guild was a concern for us and he was on the ‘keep an eye on’ list… But just to let anyone who’s thinking of inviting this gem of a mage know…

As we entered TK for the first time his question: “Uh, what are the other mages in here wearing? I’m pretty undergeared, are they going to be able to roll on stuff before me when it would be a bigger upgrade for me?” Sent alarm bells crashing through my head.

Ultimately the clincher for his short-lived membership in Celtic Rage was the hissy fit he threw in guild chat last night because he’d “been in the guild for 3 WHOLE DAYS” and hadn’t been able to raid. Which would make his second hissy fit (in 3 WHOLE DAYS, mind you) the first was when he was not invited to join us in SSC as he was not yet geared and spec’d for the instance (first night in the dungeon, our first kill on Lurker – not your level I know, but we felt good about it :D ).

tl;dr: We don’t have green chat drama in CR. We weren’t interested in him spewing his indignant, mis-informed crap whenever he didn’t get his way.

As to second on the meter… *cough*bullshit*cough*

Not that Paranoid’s seasoned recruiting team couldn’t see his 10 spell hit for what he is…

Quote of the day:
Deloessian: I’m looking at your armory. I’m seeing a number of glaring problems, and I’m a rogue…
Deloessian: Your spell hit is at 10? What’s the mage hit cap Vulc?
Vulc: My what?
Deloessian: The hit cap… Rogue hit cap is 363 with precision… What’s the mage hit cap?
Vulc: Hit doesn’t matter, I’ve got good crit.
Deloessian: …

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Druid awesomeness in action

Why was today’s earlier post a puff piece about the awesomeness of Druids?

Well, maybe it was my spending last night’s writing the WoW Insider article that just went live 25 minutes ago.

 The topic?

Why, the incredible awesome “holy shit I wish I were in that guild” all-Druid hanky panky that went on Saturday on Dark Iron.

Go read the article, see the pics, watch the videos, and then come back and tell me you don’t understand why I might be feeling mighty damn proud of the players that roll Druid.

Rock on, guys (and gals) of the Penny Arcade Alliance!

Edit: What I can’t stop doing, is picturing in my mind’s eye a potential Penny Arcade or PvPOnline comic of the Crow event…

A lone Horde, happily standing by a river in Terokkar… maybe a tauren, fishing pole in hand, straw hat on head… fishing away.

Next panel, a few ominous-looking Swift Flight Form crows flap down, coming in for a landing near him. The fisher-horde says in intelligible text, looking mildly worried, “Here for the fishing, guys? Guys?” One of the birds has a word balloon saying “CAW”.

Last panel, as a hundred or more Swift Flight Form druids are clearly continuing to come in for landings, grabbing a perch anywhere they can, one even perched on his head looking upside down at him, all staring red-eyed at the obviously panicking/quaking hordie, the horde is saying something that is gibberish/noise to the reader, while we are looking at a third person view of two of the Crows in the foreground, that have their heads turned to each other, and one is saying to the other one, “Don’t let this one run too long; the last one was chewy.”

A day of little news, but at least a podcast

Hey folks, just wanted to let you know that I am going to be gone doing family friednly chores most of the day… I gotta lay a vinyl floor for my mom-in-law… but I’ll be back home, loud as ever, to take part in the WoW Insider podcast.

And yes, I know… he spelled my name wrong. Again. It’s okay, at this point Cassie and i think it’s hilarious.

I believe Zach will be on, and the focus will be on PvP, so you know you’ll get lots of useless commentary from me, the guy what doesn’t PvP.

Maybe if I get home early enough before the podcast, i can get an Arena match in, and an Alterac Valley. Just, so, you know, I have something.

Anyway, I hope you have fun, and happy WoWing!

Okay, I can haz aspirin now?

polar_bear_headache.jpgI know the last Shifting Perspectives column over at WoW Insider was on April Fools day, and for SOME reason, you folks don’t seem to think it should count.

Whiny bitches.

A bear works and slaves over Hello Kitty for HOURS, and do I get any thanks? Hell no.

But fine. That’s okay. I’m not hurt. I’ll just… I’ll just…  {sniffle}

This week I’m dropping the bomb on your butts. You want Shifting Perspectives? I got your Shifting Perspectives right here.

At least, I will when that link goes live at 11:00 AM Eastern time this morning.

That post is my definitive answer to all the excellent folks that have been emailing me asking when I was planning on updating my feral bear tank gear guide.

Now, I know that SOME people are never satisfied. Even though that article weighs in at over 7000 words, someone is going to bitch that it doesn’t include a guide to bear tanking enchants, gems and consumables. Or that it doesn’t go past Kharazhan.

Well, the enchants and gems will get covered NEXT freaking week.

And gearing up past Kharazhan will come sometime in the future too.

Now, I have had some folks ask if I ever have any plans on doing a similar gear guide for kitty gear.

Yes, yes I do. As much as I talk and talk and talk about bear tanking because it is our feral role in groups, I know that I personally spend 90% of my play time solo in kitty form and shifting in and out of kitty. I can’t imagine I’m alone in that.

I think spending 90% of our feral playtime in one form makes it well worth talking about the gear we seek out for Kitty roles, and no, it ain’t the same as Rogues. So that will be going up either the next week or the one after.

And there will be the final installment of the bear tanking guide, too. /aspirin

So lay off, damn it! I’m working on it!

On a side topic, if you are interested in collaborating on a Resto Druid or Moonkin Druid gear guide up to and including Kharazhan, please let me know. I’d like to do one on WI soon, like in a month or so, and I think it would be very valuable to a lot of players. After all, Shifting Pespectives ain’t supposed to be all feral all the time.

Peace out!

Tired bear :(

Good news and bad news!

Good news – Legatum Ignavis is accelerating raiding, downing High King, Gruul, Magtheridon and the fourth Zul’Aman boss, Jan’Alai, all in the last week.

I participated in all but the Zul’Aman run, since I’m no longer on the ZA team in the guild. I’ve been running a Karazhan group instead.

So as you can see, we’ve been moving ahead aggressively on raiding.

On the other hand, this leaves me with little free time to blog. I’ve been working on a nice big blog post that has me excited… that I started last Thursday. About half done. Gak!

And now, you don’t even get a nice fulfilling blog post today, because I have a WoW Insider article to finish. And since I disappointed so many people last week, I took on a big one today. This article is a mammoth.

How big? Over 4000 words so far, although I hope to streamline it as much as I can… and it takes a lot of research. It’s big enough that I might not get it live until either late tonight, or tomorrow morning.

And I’m supposed to run another Karazhan run tonight. I love it, but tomorrow is Gruul and Mags again, and Friday might be Mags if we fail tomorrow night, and Saturday is SSC… /cry.

So, I leave you with this thought…

I hope Cassieann posts something, because I’ve gotta get back to work.

Well, it’s been done to us

Yep, I mentioned yesterday that WoW Insider was going through a change, and I was having to work more to get up to speed.

The most awesome thing is, you folks think they’re joking.

Yes, it is April 1st. No kidding, really? Wow.

The point you are missing is, AOL owns WoW Insider and Weblogs, Inc. And AOL looks at demographics. And no matter how many players WoW currently has, they have made the decision, based on demographics data from the popularity of Hello Kitty among the various countries that MMOs are popular in, and they have decided to shift the focus of the site towards a full support of Hello Kitty Online to become the leading content provider in advance of the wave.

And no, I’m not happy about it.

The reasoning seems to be that the target audience of Hello Kitty Online will be more likely to seek out tips and guidance about different aspects of the game than the typical WoW player that knows how to take full advantage of Wikis and database knowledge based websites like thottbot or wowhead for answers.

I promise you, I have absolutely NO intention of quitting WoW. This blog will continue to be WoW based, although I make no promises about my crankiness. It seems to fluctuate like phases of the moon.

But WoW Insider is now HKO Insider, and thanks to this genius freaking move, I now get to spend my time in the Hello Kitty Online beta, so I can continue to write articles and get paid for it.

Sigh. At least I still get paid.

I wonder if I can get a discount on Hello Kitty panties for Casseiann?

Sorry for the silence

AOL recently rolled out new guidelines on how WoW Insider articles need to be written, and since I have an article due tomorrow I’m finding myself having to do massive research to make sure I get it all right.

I will say, when I first heard about the new direction WoW Insider was going to take, I was pretty skeptical.

But the more I tear into this, the more excited I’m getting. I think that the new content is, if anything, going to be even more popular than what we’ve done in the past. And considering the massive market in Asia, I can certainly see the reasoning behind the changes.

Anyway, between the new article changes and my normal work, I’m pretty swamped. But tune in tomorrow to WI, and you’ll see that I’ve been working my big bear butt off.

I hope you had fun this weekend, guys.