Oh, is there drama out there? Controversy? Bah!
You call this controversy? I call it Wednesday.
Another week, another outrage, more noise, blah blah blah.
Let’s talk about something actually important.
With the coming of this pre-patch pause, I’ve cranked up the pet battling from, zero to “oh hell yeah”, and begun my preparations to dominate the pet world… within the walls of my own private Garrison.
My pet collection is the most impressive one possessed by anyone named Bigbearbutt on the Azeroth-US server. It’s pretty badass. All other Bigbearbutts on Azeroth that I asked agreed, it’s pretty boss.
Now that I’ve whittled my desired pet collection list to under 15, and spent several years worth of WoW subscription on pets from the auction house, it’s time to go after pets that might take a bit of effort on my part.
Go figure, right?
So yes my friends, it’s time for…. An Awfully Big Adventure!
Trunks the tiny elephant will soon* be mine. For a given value of soon.
It feels like I spent all of last expansion preparing for this achievement. So many battles that have to be fought by two pets carrying dead weight. Dead weight in the form of the cutest little plushie that ever rawred.
Anyone that plotted out courses across Pandaria to powerlevel carried pets rubbed their hands together in glee. “I got this!”
And then I faced reality. over the course of the expansion change, my Pet Battle Teams addon broke.
Oh, there is a fix and I used it, but…. every one of my previously saved teams I crafted to destroy my opponents and level pets? Gone. /cry
All those strategies, washed away like tears in the rain. Tears I shed for thee, little Celestial Dragon!
Now, you may ask yourself, “What’s the big deal? You can jsut rebuild them by remembering what you used. You did them daily for months, you can remember, right?”
Hah. Oh, you’re a funny one, aren’t you? Remember what teams I used? Memory is something that happens to people with intact brain cells. I can’t even remember how to write or spell anymore. I don’t know how to do it. What I do, is I throw a sentence at my hands and they type on their own, and I watch what goes on the screen in dumbfounded amazement.
“Hey Cassie, look at this, my fingers know how to spell!”
“Not very well.”
Yeah, what do you expect from some dippy digits, anyhow.
Get to the point, already.
I has no teams. After all those battles across an entire expansion, I’m starting fresh.
Ah! But not unarmed or unarmied!
I still have me well over 200 battle pets of rare quality, leveled to 25 and hardened across a thousand battlefields. More than a thousand if that achievement is tracking right.
So I have the pets, I just need to figure out how to use them against each target, right? And I already did every one of these before, so how hard could this possibly be?
Heck, I’ll even stack the deck, and fully level Hiemalis the Elekk Plushie to 25 so she has max health and can survive the slings, arrows and AoE of outrageous fortune thrown at her.
Still, maybe someone has a list of where all the tamers I have to beat are. That would make this so much easier, a list broken down by zone of where the tamers for the achievement are, so I can just swoop around and go zone by zone.
Recognize them by name and remember where they can be found? Seriously, you really are funny, aren’t you?
A quick stop at Wowhead netted me a list, I’ve got a little list, oh I’ve got a little list of pet tamers I need to put in the ground.
Such a marvelous guide to the achievement, with the tamers grouped up by tab, It’ll certainly make the time just fly on by like mad.
Now, here is the funny bit. No, really, this is kind of cute.
So I start off going to the older regions first, and what do I discover?
Apparently, and this is news to me, there are pets that people are big fans of that I never used! Yep, still had them at level 1, never saw a day of combat.
Pets like, oh, the Imperial Eagle Chick, and the Pterrordax Hatchling, and the Zandalari Anklerender, and the Spring Rabbit, and the Darkmoon Tonk, oh and Iron Starlette, mustn’t forget Iron Starlette.
Most of my pet battles back in the day were done with Anubisath Idol, 3x Chrominius, 3x Pandaran Water Spirit and 3x Unborn Valkyrie. Which, I now notice, are mostly not even mentioned. Except the Idol, who I personally code-named “Overpowered”. What, he ain’t nerfed yet? Wow, I lost that bet.
Well, this is just going to go swimmingly.
I prepared for the wrong war! And I can’t remember my own strategies, so what the heck, might as well wing it and smile.
All joking aside, using the pets I do have I managed to clear out all the tamers in Kalimdor, Eastern Kingdoms, Outland, Northrend, the Cataclysm zones and Pandaria last night.
That leaves me with Draenor tamers which I haven’t even done on normal yet, the two Darkmoon Faire tamers, and all of the Celestial Tournament.
The Celestial Tournament.
Oh boy. Now doesn’t that just sound delightful, doing the Celestial Tournament tamers with two pet combinations.
All I can say is, this Trunks pet better have a “Massive Fart” ability that wipes out an entire team with one mighty puff of green death.
“You best start puffing me emerald death toots, Trainee Trunks.”
Now, at this point you might be asking yourself, “Wasnt’ the title of this here blog post something about being positive?”
Damn right it was!
I’m positive that this achievement has been one hell of a good time!
I love the smell of burnt plushie stuffing in the morning.
Smells like… victory.